Monday 3 December 2018

Berlin Basics – 7 Fool-Proof Ways to Fit in

Welcome to Berlin! If you are new to the city, or it’s been a while since your last visit you may notice things are a little different here than other European cities. Here are seven basic tips to get you navigating the capital like a local.


1. Obey the Ampelmann

This is the Ampelmann. Isn’t he cute? He was an East German invention designed to make street-safety fun for children.

When he’s green and happy, like the picture above, it means it is safe to cross the street. But when he is red and sticking his arms out, stay off the road.

The trouble is, that the widest streets have two sets of Ampelmanns (Ampelmen? Amplemänner?) – one that will take you to a median between two lanes of traffic, and the other that will take you to the far side of the street. In many cases, these men are not synchronized, so it is key to obey the Ampelmann that is closest to you, and not the one on the far side of the street.

2. Stay out of the Bicycle Lane!

Most streets in Berlin have a separate cycle lane – sometimes it’s a separate lane indicated on the road, and other times it’s a dedicated portion of the sidewalk, often marked, or a different colour. But this doesn’t always seem to be enough and cyclists here have free rein. They’re pretty nonchalant about little things like, darting in between cars stopped at traffic lights, running reds when they think they can get away with it, and rolling through the rest of the pedestrian-designated sidewalk, even when they have their own. But pedestrians beware! Never, ever (EVER!) step into the bicycle lane! Not only do the cyclists get cranky (a bit rich, I know), but a pedestrian hit by a cyclist in the bike lane is considered to be at fault.

3. Always have buy a ticket before you get on the train, bus or tram

It’s oh so ever tempting. There’s one little ticket box at the head of the train platform, and nothing to prevent you simply from getting on the train: no attendants, no turnstiles, no one to see that you haven’t duly paid out your €2.80. The train’s right here and the next one won’t come for four whole minutes…. You could just jump on the train…

But it’s not worth it!

Rather than invest in bulky infrastructure like ticket takers and gates, BVG (the Berlin Transit Authority) feels it’s better to pay plain-clothes ticket checkers. These super-sneaky individuals climb on the train, dressed as everyday people, pretend to look bored and stare at the ceiling, until… Wham. As soon as the doors lock everyone in with them, out come the official IDs and ticket scanners, and “Fahrscheine Bitte, Tickets, please!”

The team splits up and moves to opposite ends of the cars, then work towards the middle. Most people nonchalantly dig their out passes, but a few will start to look panicky, checking and re-checking places they know no ticket exists… and a few try to get out of the way… but you’re stuck on a train, being sandwiched in – there’s nowhere to go! Rule breakers are hauled off the train at the next station for a good old-fashioned public shaming and a fine of €60. This happens often enough that it is unnecessarily risky to try and ride without a pass.


4. Suits are Highly Overrated

Berlin’s dress code trends strongly toward casual. Jeans are easily the norm, as are flat shoes for the ladies, and scarves are less a fashion accessory than a thing to keep your neck warm when it’s chilly. It’s a very rare thing to see a suit, or even what we might call ‘business-casual’ when out and about – even those getting out of the Mercedes and Audis keep it simple.

Wear what you want, wear what is comfortable. Wear you!

5. A Park or Sidewalk Café is the Perfect Place to Spend an Afternoon

It’s 2pm on Wednesday, the sun is shining and the weather is nice and warm. You might think that it sucks that you have to be stuck behind your desk… But not so in Berlin! Sunny, warm days lure everyone out from their offices and computers and into the plethora of parks and cafes that blanket the city. Berlin is definitely not a place for those who live to work, and good weather is not to be squandered. So enjoy a beer or a coffee under the shade of the chestnut trees, or to really assimilate, get your FKK on in the Tiergarten.

Food and Drink

6. Pork Products are the Cornerstone of a Berliner Diet

Pork products of various shapes, sizes and colours are omnipresent. And cheap. You can enjoy cured ham for breakfast, Curry Wurst for lunch and breaded schnitzel for dinner, all for €20 or less. For those who are concerned about the vitamin deficiency that will surely result from such a diet, fear not – most of these dishes come with sauerkraut, or potatoes… or both! So the odds of getting scurvy will be minimized even if your mid-section won’t be.

7. Beer!

Another waistline expander is Germany’s ubiquitous beverage. Beer is cheap, and it is everywhere. For less than a euro you can buy half a litre of beer at the grocery store. It is marginally more expensive in cafes and restaurants, but still cheaper than water or coffee. It usually comes in small size (0.3 litres), but really, it’s more appropriate to go for a normal one (0.5 litres)… and you can start at lunchtime… and drink it pretty much anywhere.

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